Im lost.....I cant see anything or tell what has been going on. I feel like out of shape....I am not sure to what extent I can contral my soul

This is the first time Im waiting for the morning pray at school.Im willing for you.....

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               子 雀 
                         

             栀子灵魂亦赏雀， 

             未惆语雨竟伤略。 

             莫愁舞中诉雀珠， 

             一指相溅谢灵绝。

I know all this has been changed in such a 'amazing' period. How should I calm down myself?　I cant even take a breath to think of all these! My Godness! Why it just ended upset more than any one else? That hurts way more than I could offer. Crazy me. I am so fucking crazy to get into it!!! and Fucking crazy to get out of it!!! By the day he said, tonight I can write the saddest song.Or by the time he said,you are the heaven I long for you, you are the earth I sepend on you,you are my love, let me tell you I luv you, baby. Or by the time saying,I want you to be mine. Hopefully you never plan a day like today or yesterday. I cant wake myself up. It's just too tired to do anything.

The heavy snow was keep going for a night and a day. Suddenly the sunshine goes throw. I breath the nice warm sunlight into my body. 30 secoud solo ends. I stop all this which like a drama to me.Shakespeare didnot write a thing as same as this one but similar. So that I start all over again to read "the Tragedy of Macbeth". A great play talks about what a soul means in a such a serious life.